{Holland}

Five weeks ago my husband and I started going to a support group called HEAL. For anyone who has had a miscarriage, stillbirth or infant pass away I highly recommended a support group. It has  been so wonderful talking to others...sharing our stories...and realizing we are not alone in our journey. We have met some wonderful friends and cannot imagine where we would be right now without our group.

Each week the leader of our group shares a story, a poem or some sort of writing. This weeks I thought was very suiting for the journey that my family and I have started and I thought I would share it. It was from the Rocky Mountain News, October 29, 1990. It is a very unique way of explaining what this journey is like. I hope you enjoy.


Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience, to help others understand it, to imagine how it would feel. Well, it's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks, and you make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, Michelangelo's David, the gondolas in Venice. You may even learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags, and off you go. Several hours later, the plane is preparing to land. And as the plane is landing, the pilot makes an announcement: "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?!" you say. "What do you mean, Holland? I signed up to go to Italy! All of my life I've dreamed of going to Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy!"

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've taken you to Holland, and there you must stay. The important thing, however, is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would have never met.

It's really just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there a while, you'll catch your breath. And then you'll look around you and notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandt's.

But everyone you know is busy going to and from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful place it is. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. Italy is what I had planned."

The pain of that will never, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special and very lovely things about Holland.




Such a beautiful way to look at our "new" life.

{Crying}

OK so seriously what is it about pregnancy and the random crying that is sure to ensue no matter what? Yes, I know it is the hormones but seriously...sometimes I feel crazy.

Like the time I may or may not have cried because my husband was cooking a nice dinner for me but I just really needed Chinese food. Or the time Ian and I were watching TV and he changed the channel (during a commercial) and I completely lost it because well I was seriously into that commercial. Or the time that I may or may not have watch Free Willy and balled my eyes out. And I may or may not have watch it a second time....immediately after...only to cry again. Poor Averee...I think she really thought I had lost it :)

Oh well...only 175ish days to go! Except for then I know what comes next...the postpartum hormones....Yikes.





**Disclaimer: This post is made strictly for entertainment purposes. Just your standard pregnant lady :)**

{Yikes}

So it happened. Something that I never ever thought would happen to me. Not me. I'm way to prepared for this kind of stuff but well it happened.

I ran out of diapers.

I knew our diaper stash was getting low and was in need of a replenishment STAT. I knew I should have spent the morning heading to the store to stock up on those precious disposables for my unpotty trained dolly. I knew.

What I didn't know is what was going to happen next. What I didn't know is that when the girl awoke from her nap and I placed her very last diaper on her and proceeded to gather all of our belongs for a trip to the store was that she would do the unimaginable...POOP. That's right. Right there...in our very last no more to be accounted for anywhere diaper. And imagine my elation when I found out that it wasn't a very nice solid if you will but the other kind that you pray stays in the diaper until you rush said baby with diaper to the changing table. To top it all off...the stench was something that could parallel that of a dumpster trunk. Yikes.

So what did I do. Well I threw her in the car and ran to the store as fast as I could. Yes. We received many glares for what I imagine was a shocking site...a mom in sweaty gym clothes, afraid to take her sunglasses off for fear of being recognized and a daughter with a t-shirt and diaper on. Oh, and don't forgot the lovely fragrance that we were totting around with us.

Oh what a day. I guess it really is true that life is unpredictable. And that life as a mom will give you experiences that you never...in your worst nightmare...thought were possible.


On another note...tonight we are going to try this....Salsa Chicken Soft Tacos . I saw this recipe over on a friends blog and it sounds delish...not to mention easy :) That's my kind of meal. I'll let you know how it turns out!

{Honestly?!?}

Ok so I feel it is necessary to prelude this post by stating that I know I am not perfect...I never plan to be perfect...nor do I care to be perfect...that's how we learn right? However, this I just find out of control.

I recently came across a family that had a two year old and I was able to watch their breakfast habits. The mother decided on oatmeal for her toddler....I thought to myself good choice. Nice, wholesome, non sugary breakfast for a toddler who is in a prime time of growing! What came next was just beyond me...That nice bowl of plain, wholesome, actually good for you oatmeal was turned into an awful, teeth rotting, makes my stomach hurt bowl of junk. Said mom added an entire cartoon of whole milk....which I know what you are thinking...what's wrong with that? Ok...well what's wrong with that is that on top of the sugar in the milk she also added not 1, not 2, not even 3 but 7 packets of sugar!!!! You read it correctly....7! And to top it off she handed her child 8 oz of whole strength juice! I cringed at the thought of Averee eating this. Not only would she probably be a beast from the extreme sugar high she would be on but the thought of the awful nutritional habits I would be teaching her at such a young age. Ahhhh...Makes me want to scream!

Now I am guilty myself of sweetening my child's food a little. I have been known to added a little honey or maple syrup to things to get her to eat them. But when I say little I mean a drop! A small, teeny, tiny amount. And whole strength juice....Ummmmm I can count on my right hand the amount of times Averee has had whole strength juice. Her typical drink consists of 7 oz of water with about 1 oz of juice. And this actually came to my advantage when she was sick last month because to help avoid dehydration I needed her to drink so I mixed her juice at 50% juice and 50% pedialyte...She downed it!

I am also a huge believer in breakfast. I believe it starts your day out and that this one single meal can really determine how you will feel for the rest of your day. I find it especially important with a child....so young...to have have a healthy start.

Would you like to know how I prepare Averee's oatmeal? Well I start with plain organic baby oatmeal. I add about 1 ounce of a baby food veggie and about 2 ounce of baby food fruit (yes I still buy Earth's Best Organic baby food just for this purpose). I add a little bit of warm water and mix it all up. She loves it and not only is she getting a fruit and whole grain serving for breakfast but she is also getting a veggie serving without even knowing it.

So please...whatever you do...remember that if you teach your children at a young age what food tastes like without all the "extras" you will be helping them to create a lifetime of healthy nutritional habits.

And now I shall step down from my soap box.

{What not to say...}

I saw this link recently on a friends Facebook status and I just had to share...It is soooo funny yet soooo true.

Here's a list of 10 things not to say to a working mom...

1. It must be hard missing all those special moments every day.

2. I suppose it's smart that you're working. You know, in case your husband leaves you some day.

3. I'm surprised you went back to work. Your husband seems so successful.

4. It's cute when they call your nanny "Mama."

5. I just love my kids too much to leave them during the day.

6. Did you see Dateline? The one with the hidden camera in the day care?

7. I could never let someone else raise my children. But that's just me!

8. I hated my mom because she was never home after school like everyone else's mom.

9. You must feel so guilty.

10. I wish I were as laid-back as you and could just let the housework go.

Thanks Redbook for the great laugh!

Have you ever heard any off the wall things? I was told when I was still pregnant that I better not be "farming" my children out. I had to ask for clarification (apparently it means daycare). I laughed and said I went to school too long to not use my knowledge to help others. The conversation ended after that :)

Next, up I'm working on a list of what not to say to a pregnant woman....I'd love to hear your ideas!

{I heart Coffee}

 It's no big secret. I'm a coffee lover.

I love the smell, the taste, the warmth. I love how I feel energetic after having a cup. I just love coffee.




However, I frequently feel quite bad for the amount that I drink (usually about 3 cups per day). I feel as if I should be consuming something else (ie water). So I'm sure you can imagine how excited I was to read this article...

5 health reasons to not quit coffee

Now I don't feel so bad about my daily antioxidant intake...I'm mean hello...I'm doing it for my heart!

{OH No!}

My secrets out....remember the one I told you never to tell...the one about my slight flare for the drama!?!

Well my husband....he's onto my little secret...Last night as we were lying in bed listen to Averee scream at approximately 1:27 in the morning I went to get out of bed to get her and Ian leaned over and said give her a minute. I promptly told him it had been at least 10 minutes that she had been crying (when in reality I knew it had been about.....25 seconds...but come on! that's an eternity to a mommy!) He looked at me and started to laugh and then said it....the words that let me know someone told him....."Ohhh Michelle....you are such an over exaggerator!"

What!?! Was it you??? Did you tell him!?!

Oh well...I suppose he was bound to find out eventually.





***Don't forget to enter to win a sweet little dress over at the Milk & Cookie Party...It's as easy as leaving a comment! And hey....we could all use a little free in our lives!***

{He's Baaack}

I wish I was talking about Ian and that he was home from a long trip or maybe even Santa Clause being it is that time of year. Heck, I'd even take a pimple that I've nick named Fred at this point. But no. "He" is none of those. "He" is our Night timer stalker friend....remember him? If not you can see what he is all about here.

And this time instead of a "he"....he is now a "she". Apparently they are so desperate to find Mr. Quicker that they have now hired a new company. Can't you just feel the joy that is exuding from me? "She" was so pleasant to stop by some time in the wee hours last night. I must say though she was much kinder and didn't rattle are front door...Phew! Crisis averted.

You want to hear the best part? I finally decided to call the police because although I thoroughly appreciate our night time stalker friends visits I feel that they might be more well received during the day. Well Mr. Policeman stopped by, informed us there is nothing that he can do and encouraged us to go outside with our ID next time our "friend" stops by and tell them the person they are looking for does not live here and kindly ask them to not come by again. I mean this is a fantastic idea since all of our "friends" are most likely packing. Hmmm I think I'll pass.

Are we the only ones that have crazy things like this happen? Please tell me no! Anyone?...Anyone???...Bueller???? Man it's just us?!? Go figure.

{TO:} Our night time stalker friend

Dear Mr Repo Man,

Although it was very kind of you to stop by last night I must inform you that the gentleman, Mr. Quaker, who you are hunting for does not live here. To be honest I'm not sure that he has ever lived here since it was just in the last year that we began to receive his mail and we have lived here for almost 4 years.

I just thought you should know how appreciative I am of your night time stalking. I mean, honestly, I felt truly honor to have you shine your bright florescent light into my bedroom window at 0030. Not many people can say that they have had that done! Oh and your walking up to my door with your gigantic light and jiggling the lock...that was classic! I think one of the best parts is how all of our neighbors now think that we are in some kind of trouble since they all were peering out their windows early this morning with us since you hung around for a good 30 minutes. Did you think the item that you were looking for was just suddenly going to appear? Hmmmmm.

Like I said we really appreciate you stopping by. It allowed us to get zero sleep last night and worry about my 1 year old in the other room all night long. Thanks for that...you are so kind. Thanks to you I'm pretty sure we will now be investing in one of these (For our night time stalker friend...a Home Alarm!) . I guess you are really just looking out for our well being. Oh and just so you know...if you come back I will be calling the police this time. Thanks.

Your dear friend,

Michelle


PS Maybe you could kindly tell your client that they should do a little bit more investigating before sending the REPO man out next time. I mean for the last year they have been receiving all of Mr Quakers mail back with a kind little note stating not at this address. I'm just saying...day time visit are alitte bit more well received.

Whoops!

So remember awhile back when I said that I was certain it would not be that last time that I would be talking about poop? Well guess what....apparently I write about it and don't even realize! As my dad, who so politely pointed my error out, said...I've just been a nurse for waayyyy to long! :)

Here's what I wrote...and yes it has been edited since!

"These are the supplies that you need. Two bowels (it really doesn't matter what size), a toothbrush, warm water and windex. I put warm water in the red bowel and placed my rings to soak for about 10 minutes. In the blue cup mix half warm water and half windex. Once your rings are done soaking in the red bowel place them in the windex mix for about 10 minutes."

Now if anyone actually has two bowel's kudos to you! You'll always have one on back up!

I will be sure to read a little more thoroughly next time but I have a feeling I will most like make the mistake again. I mean when you are just so used to seeing and hearing these words they become a part of your natural vocabulary and never seem to look out of place! Whoops!

{War} with the Kitchen

And well....the kitchen won.

I must say this was completely unexpected although looking back it probably shouldn't have been. I mean since we decided to crack down on our budget and eat strictly mostly at home I have been preparing most dinners. And I must say they are quite delicious (OK maybe not all of them but they are still edible and take care of the whole need for nutrition thing.)

Well tonight, being the first day of fall and all, I decided we need something yummy. Something rich. Something that I never ever make because it is most likely harmful to my waistline....Shepherd's Pie.....say it with me "Yuuuuummmmmmy!"

So I bust out the potatoes (luckily I had all the ingredients even though I was not planning on this type of meal this week) and started preparing.

I mashed and I mashed and I added some butter (yeah butter...shocking) and whole milk (another shocker) and then I mashed a little more. I added some salt and some pepper to make them just ohhhhh so tasty. And it was finally time. That moment when they were just mashed and it was time to taste (Score for me!) to make sure they were just right. So I grabbed a spoon and lifted it to my lips and what I got was pure heaven dreadfulness!!!!

Not what I expected! Oh no what did I do???

Can you guess? I dare you too. This just shows how easily ones mind can get distracted while attending to a 13 month old...

I. Forgot. To. COOK. The. Potatoes!!

No joke...that's why I had to do all of that mashing.


I mean honestly, this is just the kind of stuff that you cannot make up and I give you total permission to LOL (did I honestly just use that expression?).

So now that it was already heading towards 6 pm and I still did not have dinner on the table I was in panic mode....I had a screaming toddler (from pure starvation), potatoes who in my bit of furry I threw down the drain with their peeled skins which were now clogging my disposal and no food! What was I to do. Well what came next was just pure genies.

I decided to make a "light" form of Shepherd's Pie and I call it "The Little Shepherd" (well until I come up with a better name. Any ideas?)

I continued to make my Yorkshire pudding, got the gravy going and then took hamburger meat, frozen corn and canned new potatoes and started to saute them together. No butter, no oil, no milk. Just sauteed together with some salt and pepper. Once it was cooked I placed it on a plate drizzled a little gravy on top and we had an absolutely, melt in mouth, made you think you were at Grandma's home cooked meal.

Divine!

This one will go on the list for a simple, delicious meals to whip up in a hurry! Next time I plan to add some carrots and peas to the mix to add a little bit more nutrition. But it honestly satisfied every bit of my need to eat something hearty! And Averee loved it! Take that Kitchen! I think it's a win for the real life mom tonight!!!

Any hearty fall meals you would like to share?

Mad at Jodi?!?

"Alright...so call me later...and oh yeah...you're parents want to know why you are mad at Jodi?"

Jodi? I'm thinking to myself who in the H...E double hockey sticks is Jodi? Am I so mad at her that I don't even remember who she is? Had I erased all memories of her as to protect myself from her awfulness???

I then remember that my parents called me a few times earlier and I wasn't able to talk to them so as I rushed into work I pulled out my phone and stumbled as I tried to dial their number. I was a little nervous about the wrath that might be Jodi and I needed answers STAT!

The first thing my dad said as I answered the phone was "Who is Jodi and why aren't you speaking to her?" I quickly informed him that I was hoping he was going to be able to tell me who the heck she was since I am certain that I don't know anyone by the name.

What came next is just further proof as to why social networking sites can get you in trouble. Here's where it all began....

I posted this on one of my bestest facebook walls yesterday.

"Ummmm so I seriously can't wait to see you and my handsome god baby in just a few weeks! Sooo excited! Oh yeah and by the way....finally read Handle with Care...Right now I am having a love/hate relationship with Jodi! We currently aren't speaking :)"

Now to me the message was quite clear as to who Jodi is...She is an author! And I am angry/mad/sad/happy/and a little bit of everything in between with her book Handle with Care!

Phewwww....I thought to myself as I hung up the phone. I was certain that I was going to need to be on my toes for the next 3674 days as I waited for Jodi to hunt me down and demand an answer to all the madness! At least the crisis was diverted and I could breath a little easier knowing Jodi wasn't after me!

Ohhhh Mom and Dad....I'll be sure to include a disclaimer next time stating that all the proceeding comments are of a sarcastic nature and are not to be taken seriously in any way...shape...or form.

Do you have any funny social networking stories to share? I'd love to hear them!

If you have not yet read this book and are looking for a good read I do highly suggest it! It is the type of book that you won't be able to put down and I'm quite certain that you too will have a love/hate relationship with Jodi after reading it. Click here to check it out! Handle with Care: A Novel