Thursday, February 9, 2012


I think a lot of times when someone loses a child all the focus goes to the parents of that baby.

How awful it must be for the mommy and daddy to live without their baby (and it is). How their hearts must hurt...All...the...time.

I think it is important to remember though... the baby has Grandparents.

Imagine this...You child tells you they are going to have a baby. You're so excited. You start preparing because you are going to be a Grandma or Grandpa. You are going to get to spoil your grand baby...snuggle them when mommy and daddy need a break, play with them, feed them lots and lots of cookies. You are so excited because you remember the joy of having a baby and you are so happy because your child gets to experience that joy.

You tell everyone you know that you are going to be a grandparent. You help your baby prepare for theirs. You tell them stories about when they were little. You remember how wonderful it was to hold your baby.

But then things change. Things go wrong. You child tells you that their baby is sick. You think..."How can my baby's baby be sick? This is not what I planned for." And then it happens. Your grand baby is gone.

Sometimes I think it must be so much harder to be the grandparent of a baby in heaven. Not only did they lose their grand baby....their future...their joy. They lost the innocence of their child. They have to watch as their baby their baby's heart breaks.

You try so hard to fix it because that is what you have always done. You have always been able to fix things for your baby. But you quickly realize you can't. You can't take this pain away from your baby. You can't take this pain away from your heart.

So sometimes I think it is harder to be the grandparent. And I sometimes I think they would agree.

I should also add that my children are very blessed. They have the very best grandparents in the world and Ian and I have the very best parents. They have stood by our side since September (OK for really our whole lives!). They have cried with us...they have comforted us. And I wish that we could comfort them. All I can say is thank you. Thank you for being the very, very best mommy and daddy and for showing us how to do the same.


  1. That was so heartfelt and I'm sure very true. There's a lot of family in the process of grieving that you don't consider as much as the parents, and they're doing their best to be strong for you while going through it all with you. Still praying for your family and thinking about you constantly, you really are an amazing mother and daughter! 

  2. You are so right. My mom just told me recently that she would cry on her drive to and from the hospital so that while she was there she could be strong for me and hold it together. Grandparents (esp. Grandmothers/mothers) are naturally such selfless creatures, but I imagine this has been unimaginably hard for both of your parents.


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