Thursday, May 3, 2012
I've been hearing it a lot lately...
So many people have told me you are so amazing...I'm in such awe by how you have embraced life. I am so impressed by your strength.
The thing is...although I am beyond flattered there is no truth to this.
You see...I am a believer that God has our lives planned from the moment we are created in our mother's womb. I believe our journey is set for us at the very, very beginning. But I also believe that part of life and part of faith is how we respond to our journey.
When we reach a crossroad in our life...such as my husband and I have with the loss of our son...we have to make a decision. We can choose to let this crossroad rule our life...bring us down. Or we can choose to embrace it...with a smile on our face....continuing to praise God.
I'm not sure about you but I'd rather live life...with love and laughter.
Now this is not to be mistaken as me saying this is an easy decision. I struggle each and everyday....asking why me...why my son...why my family. When I walk by Reid's room while at work I have to choose to remember the beautiful sunshine that God allowed to shine down on us as Reid was brought to heaven. I have to choose to not cry.
But sometimes I do.
And I think that's ok. Experiencing grief is not about being strong. It is about making a decision. I choose to remember the love that my son has brought into my life. I choose to remember the lives that he has touched. I choose to believe that God brought me to this but that God is also there for me. That he loves me. I choose to have faith in this amazing life and I choose to live it with a lot more love then I ever thought possible.
So I'm not amazing. I don't have any super human powers.
I just choose to smile.