Two years. Two whole years. It amazes me how life can go by so fast yet feel like everything just happened yesterday.
In the last two years I have felt so much emotion. I still struggle some days with overwhelming sadness and grief but I also have learned to enjoy life and appreciate life even more....
My husband and I are not the first couple to lose a child and we unfortunately will not be the last. It is a part of life that God has created and for some of us we must accept it as reality. There really is no way to explain this loss unless you yourself have experienced it....and each family who has gone through this experiences it in a different way.
I've learned over these two years that the pain doesn't necessarily go away or get better. It is a part of who we are now. Our pain is different now then it was two years ago but it is still there and I'm sure always will be.
Some days I still question God as to why he choose this path for our family. Why he felt we could handle it....But the thing is he was right...He has allowed us to grow closer as a family. To love with all of our hearts...to prepare to welcome a new baby into our family. He has allowed us to keep Reid as a part of our hearts and for us to share our story with others who have gone through something similar.
Reid will remain as a part of our family forever. He was real....He is real. He is our son and we will continue to remember him. I am so grateful that God allowed Reid to come to us. No matter how much pain we have endured we have gained just as much if not more love. We have meet some incredible people that we never would have had a chance to if Reid was not part of our lives. We have been blessed with a 3rd baby due really any day that without Reid may not have been possible. We are in an amazing stage in our lives right now....We feel love, we feel hope, we feel peace.
I'll always wonder what our lives would have been like if Reid got to stay with us here on earth...Where we would be today. What Reid would be like. But I will also always be grateful for God and for Reid for choosing us to be his family. For choosing us for this journey. It's not an easy one but it has been a rewarding one.
Happy 2nd Birthday baby boy. I will love you forever. I will love you for always.
PS I don't blog here often any more....I do blog on my business site much more often with some personal post thrown in there...I have received some emails over the last year wondering how we are doing etc so if you are ever interested you can get an update that way :) Michelle C Photo
