I've noticed that my writing over the last few months has been rather....depressing.
I think when I'm having one of those hard days writing is what I turn to. It is how I make it through.
It is important to know however that I am....Happy.
Sure, I expected my life to be different right now. I had imagined myself stressed balancing two kids while trying to balance the rest of my life. I imagined myself with a new baby to snuggle, taking walks in our double stroller, reading stories snuggled on the couch with a baby on one side and my girl on the other.
And even though that is what I imagined it is not what God had planned for me. And instead he has shown me a whole different world. Now I'd be lying if I said I'm sooo happy with his decision to bring Reid to him so soon but I'd also be lying if I said that I am not happy.
I still have my beautiful daughter who I get to spend my days with. I have my incredible husband who somehow...no matter what...can always make me laugh. I have amazing parents who have stood by us through everything and have offered us so much support. I have friends who have embraced me. I am surrounded daily by so much love and it's just impossible to not be happy.
Sure I have moments...daily...that I am sad that my boy is not here....but I also have moments...all day long...that I am happy.
I believe God gave us a gift...not only did he give us 4 days but he also gave us a lifetime of gratitude. We embrace the hugs, the smiles, the kisses from our daughter more then we used to. We smile when the sun is shining... and we take time to rest when the skies are crying.
We live a little more passionately these days and well that...that makes me happy.
Here's a little glimpse of some of the moments over the last few months that have put a smile on my face :)